Gumption.

Iris: It’s over! This twisted, toxic thing between us — it’s finally finished! I’m miraculously done being in love with you! I’ve got a life to start living and you’re not going to be in it! Now, I’ve got somewhere to be and you have to get the hell out!”

Jasper (the ex): What exactly has got into you?

Iris: I don’t know, but I think what I’ve got is something slightly resembling gumption!

The above is an extract from my favourite romantic comedy – The Holiday. Apart from my Jude Law; Yes, he’s mine, get over it and stop drooling, the movie brings to life so many conflicts that we face in our lives, crisis that we all deal with and it’s treated as beautifully as Jude Law’s jawline. I haven’t written for a while and have been meaning to about gaining gumption.

Aren’t we always fascinated with the idea of the unknown? We’re so fixated on the ‘what ifs’ and ‘could haves’ that we start living 2 different lives. One is the real one, and the other one is a figment of our desires, the ‘what if’ world. I remember telling a friend how ridiculous the game ‘Sims’ was. I found the idea of playing a game to live a different life when your real one is already so exhausting, bizarre. Little did I know, I was playing a bigger game in my head all along.

In high school, my parents forbid me from talking on my cellphone post bedtime. Result? I’d sneak in my phone, talk to my friends till wee hours and it would totally be worth it, even if I had gotten like 5 or 4 hours of sleep. Now that I’m in my 20s, I literally put my phone on silent, switch my internet off and go to bed at 9 pm sometimes because SLEEP IS GOOD.

So this is what I’m trying to get at, no matter who tells you the right thing, you will never really understand it…truly, unless you learn your own lessons. Your BFF might have told you a 1000 times to not text that low life, but you do it anyway because you have hope that he’ll change AND the reason is you (Thanks a lot for setting unrealistic expectations Hoobastank). You probably have no money for dinner for another week but you WANT to buy that imported packet of Cheetos and it might be worth it right then because CHEETOS IS GOOD, but later, you’ll be starting to get tired of Maggi.

People always tell you to follow your heart, do what your gut tells you, but they forget to tell you that in the beginning it may all feel very liberating but later it may or may not destroy your soul depending on the kind of person you are. Thankfully, my soul isn’t destroyed. I’m so glad I did what my heart asked me to, only to forever close the door of ‘what ifs’ and finally walk down the road of what is.

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9 Things Mindy Taught Me

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In an interview of hers, I had read “I always get asked, ‘Where do you get your confidence?’ I think people are well meaning, but it’s pretty insulting. Because what it means to me is, ‘You, Mindy Kaling, have all the trappings of a very marginalized person. You’re not skinny, you’re not white, you’re a woman. Why on earth would you feel like you’re worth anything?’”

Makes sense right? People often come up to me and ask, “How are you so happy all the time?” or “How is it that you tend to get over things so quickly? Lucky you.” Of course, it sounds like a compliment but with a tiny crack, through which a little disappointment seeps in. You’re not perfect, and yet you’re okay with it. But here’s a question – Would you have preferred it differently? Everybody loves complaining and our friends are there to hear us out through the drama sequences of life. I complain a lot, and yet you may never have been at the receiving end of it. Count your stars my friend. While some of you may have been and have returned the favour much gladly. Don’t worry, I’ve loved listening to you rant. If I didn’t, you’d know.

So this is probably 1 of the million reasons as to why The Mindy Project is an all time favourite tv show for me. While I enjoy the humour (understatement) the show makes me think. Ponder. Learn. Want to know what? Here goes;

ONE. Life’s a mess. Make the most of it.

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TWO. It’s okay to be irrational. In fact it’s more than ok, it’s hilarious.

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THREE. Don’t settle for love, demand a fairytale

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FOUR. It’s okay to get offended, just learn to let it go.

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FIVE. Since when was having one best friend enough?

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SIX. Be your own role model. It’s the best. You will never love anyone more. Maybe your dog, but what does he know. A lot. Yeah.

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SEVEN. If you decide to get a prenup, don’t forget the 3 crucial rights. Chicken wings being the most crucial, of course.

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EIGHT. You don’t need self help books to solve life problems, all you need is a donut. Try it sometime. With whipped cream.

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NINE. And finally, speak your mind out. This is going to benefit you 10 years down the line. Trust me. I’ve learnt it the hard way.

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Much love Mindy. Much love.